Reflection
by Everlasting Hope
Summary: Chase reflects on his life.


Disclaimer: I don't own House or any of their characters

A/N: This is just a New Years Eve drabble. Reviews are nice and thanks for reading. In this fic I just briefly reflected on Chase's life. Thanks again.

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It was almost midnight as Dr. Robert Chase wandered the halls of the Princeton Plainsboro hospital. After some complicated circling, he ended up in the observation deck of the emergency room. Staring down from the window, Chase gazed at the green walls of the room and the watched as the lights from different expensive machines blinked in a pattern, the glare of the lights bouncing around the room. Everything had been different since House had fired him and Cuddy had rehired him. For once in his life, he felt like he was home, like this hospital had become his home. A place that he could depend on, always there as a rock in his shaking life.

Softly Chase sighed, the sleep deprivation catching up with him. This was his second night shift in two days at this hospital. But on the bright side, at least he wasn't on call, at least not for this night. Being on call was the hardest of all, having to drop whatever you were doing just to make it to the hospital to perform some life saving operation. When your shift was at night then at least you are up and alert enough to comprehend the years of medical school that circulate your mind as you try to figure out the most efficient way to save a life.

Well, now his life had purpose, unlike before, when he was a lost child in the dark, surrounded by solid walls that emitted no light. That was his childhood. Granted his mother hadn't always been an alcoholic and at one point in his mother's life she had loved her husband. But once she was influenced by that amber liquid, there was no stopping. Chase could remember all the times she tried to stop and how much his father had tried to help. But in the end the alcohol won, pushing her farther and farther away from what really mattered. Her relationships and family. Chase had no idea how difficult it would be growing up with an alcoholic mother. And all he can say is that he tried his best. No matter how hard he tried to limit her consumption, she always found ways around his barriers.

It was late summer when she finally past away. As the tears ran down his fair face, it was almost like the memories of her last years were washing over him. All the pain he had endured and persevered through… And yet he couldn't save her. He couldn't pull her from the abyss into the real world… his world. It was almost like the alcohol consumed her, not the opposite. Chase watched as his strong and independent mother turned needy and desperate. And it was like he was suddenly sucked into her role without fair warning, like he was suddenly thrown into an adult world when he was still a child. Maybe that was why he had grown up the way he had. His point of view pushed him away from the outcasts of society. Maybe that was why he sometimes couldn't accept those that were different because after he looked inside himself, he still found that scared child that was unwilling to change. Unwilling to accept.

Medical school had become his dream once he entered collage. And through that dream he wanted to reach the top and not fail like many medical school hopefuls. To him he thought that with a little effort he would be able to change the world and save others from the fate of his mother. And even though he was destined to fail, that pushed him forward into the unknown. Forward into the abyss that he could not save his mother from. And Chase persevered and become the doctor that he dreamed of. Or at least he thought he had dreamed of. Did he only become a doctor because of his childhood and though certain events that were implanted into his memory? Because of that traumatizing effect? That we shall never know. But as Chase stared down from that observation deck, he realized something, through all the turmoil and stress that effected his daily life, he finally felt at home, able to fulfill his goals and ambitions and maybe even live up to what his life had in store for him. With a slight smile playing on his lips, Chase turned and left the observation deck.


End file.
